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We warn you in advance that we are fully aware that many who read this page will drop their jaw, and pause for "some time" at various points made in the following text, because they cannot in their minds fathom that a church who claims to represent THE MOST HIGH GOD and HIS only Begotten Son, would call meetings and maliciously organize to purposely set out to blatantly LIE to them for the purpose of conning them out of their money, and to deceive their very soul, with no fear of THE MOST HIGH GOD, as they conspire to outright cheat their members.
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The matter we will describe involves the entity known as "Saint" Christopher, whom as a Catholic saint had to be rigorously investigated by the "Cardinals" of the Roman Catholic Church, FOR A PERIOD OF SEVERAL YEARS, just as the entity well-known and respected "Mother" Theresa, who indeed devoted her very life to serving the people of India, had to have her entire LIFE investigated by the CARDINALS of the Catholic church of ROME, whose incredibly thorough investigation which literally takes YEARS, must then be scrutinized beyond belief by the POPE himself, before any person can be cannonized (declared to be a saint by the Roman Catholic Church).  The process of being declared a "saint" by the Roman Catholic Church therefore takes  SEVERAL  YEARS, and must pass muster by every high official including the POPE. 
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So, what you are reading could not have happened by oversight or mistake !
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Therefore, what we will now document from history COULD NOT HAVE TAKEN PLACE AT ALL without the entire heirachy of the*ENTIRE.Roman Catholic Church, TO INCLUDE THE POPE, not only KNOWING about it in advance, but purposefully and maliciously conspiring to con its worldwide membership out of their money, no matter what lies the Catholic Church later conjured up to try to claim it was an innocent mistake years later, after they ALL got caught RED HANDED doing just exactly that.  To Wit:
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As we said, the matter described above didn't really "take place" until the advent of the wide use of the automobile in the 1930's and 1940's, when someone in the Catholic Church saw an opportunity for the church to make BILLIONS of dollars!  All they had to do was have ALL of their heirachy, TO INCLUDE THE POPE, agree to lie through their teeth, and conspire amongst themselves, which obviously took no time or effort at all!
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So, with nothing but gargantuous dollar signs dancing in their heads, and with KNOWING THAT OLE "SAINT" CHRIS WAS NOTHING BUT A MYTH, ALL of these Catholic officials had to do, was remind worldwide membership that ole saint Christopher had been declared their church's "patron saint" for all travelers, and insist that all Catholics keep one of their often "not so cheap" statues on the dashboard of every car, to obtain ole chris's heavenly blessing, which of course the church, without so much as having a guilty conscience, boldly sold BILLIONS of dollars worth to its members, each of whom were coerced to buy at least one.
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But statues of ole saint chris were only a small part of the church's out and out disgraceful, outrageous, and absolutely just plain demonic, "saint" christopher products.  There were "saint" christopher medals, cards, first class relics which the "Holy Roman Catholic Church" itself proudly and quite boldly proclaimed to ME, had physically touched ole saint chris himself (for which I myself paid exactly one hundred dollars for the one the church told ME I needed in order to be "safe" while driving my car as a teen), but of course there was yet another ten dollar charge to pay the parish priest for blessing it.
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Before we continue, it's important to know that this is not a "story" that is being written out of contempt for the Catholic Church, because we as writers HAVE no such contempt.  It is instead being written out of the documented facts which recorded HISTORY and the church's own official encyclopedia have very clearly substantiated.
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Having said that, and having clearly established that the "Holy Roman Catholic Church" used the MYTH of ole "saint Christopher to literally screw its worldwide members out of BILLIONS of dollars by just flat out conspiratorially LYING to them, let's take a little closer LOOK at what the "Holy" Roman Catholic Church knew about ole saint Chris while they were using him to STEAL all these  BILLIONS  of dollars from their members on a worldwide scale by  LYING to them.

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Among Roman Catholics the most popular (of many different legends) is the Saint Christopher LEGEND preserved in Jacobus de Voragine's 13th century Golden Legend.
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The story states that Christopher was a sort of Canaanite giant or ogre, who was said to have lived during the first half of the 3rd century (at least two hundred years AFTER the death of Christ.  He was twelve cubits (about 18 feet or 5.5 m) tall and had a most fearsome countenance.

Please take note that all "giants" had long since become extinct before the time of Christ, which was some two hundred years BEFORE the days of ole saint Chris.  So, from that standpoint alone, Ole eighteen foot tall saint Chris has been a provable absolute blatant..LIE..since day one !

His name originally was "Offero" or "Reprobus."  According to this fabricated legend, ole "offero" (which was probably short for MONEY GRAB) had pride that was such that he vowed he would serve only a master who was more fearsome than himself.  After research, he determined that the Devil was a likely candidate.  He therefore pledged himself to the Devil's service, only to abandon the Devil when he learned that the Devil was in turn afraid of the cross of Jesus.  (See:  St. Christopher, by Albrecht Dürer,  Enlarge St. Christopher, by Albrecht Dürer.)

Ahhh, THAT explains it.  What we have here is an eighteen foot tall giant with the head of a dog,  who did research, before the time of printed books! 

Offero/Reprobus then vowed to serve Jesus instead, and became a Christian.  He sought out a Christian hermit to inquire as to how he could better serve Jesus.  The hermit directed him to a dangerous ford in a swift river, and suggested that the giant's great size and strength made him a good candidate to assist people in crossing.  Offero/Reprobus began ferrying people across the river on his broad back.
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One day, a small child approached the river and asked to be carried across.  The giant began to comply, only to learn that the small boy was far heavier than any other passenger he had taken.  The child revealed that he was in fact Jesus Christ, and that his unusual weight was due to the fact that he bore the sins of the world.  The boy then baptized the giant in the river, and he acquired his new name Christopher, Greek for "Christ-carrier" (christo-phoros).

How touching.  So Christ, being a SPIRIT who had been gone from earth as a physical body for well over two hundred years, needed a ride across the river. 

The child then told Christopher to plant his staff in the ground.  The staff miraculously bloomed into a fruit-bearing tree.  This miracle converted many.  Enraged at these conversions, a local king had Christopher imprisoned, where, after cruel tortures he was beheaded as a martyr.  Relics and the head of the Saint, after Constantinople, are being held on the island of Rab, Croatia. 

I just know they are.  I wonder if those are the first class relics the Catholic Church conned me out of my hundred bucks to buy when I was just a kid ?

Saint Christopher is the patron of the island of Rab.  When Normans tried to invade the islands and besieged the city, its inhabitants placed the saint's relics on the city walls.  As a miraculous result the winds changed and the bows and ships were blown away from the city.  One of the city's biggest medieval squares is named after the saint. (So are all the statues we see on people's dashboards.)
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The veneration of this improbable figure was sharply criticised by Erasmus in his Praise of Folly.. Christopher's feast day was formerly July 25; it was downgraded by the Vatican to a purely local commemoration in 1969.  Christopher is one of the Fourteen Holy Helpers, and the patron saint of travelers.  Despite his demotion, devotion to St. Christopher remains popular among Roman Catholics. 
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Medallions issued in his name, which are worn to show devotion to a certain saint and ask for that saint's prayers, are fairly popular among Catholics.  They are frequently displayed in automobiles.

 
In contrast to the dramatic and miracle-laden stories popular among those Latin-rite Catholics who venerate St. Christopher, the story accepted among the Eastern Catholic/Orthodox Church is somewhat more prosaic (straight forward)  (albeit still with fantastic elements).
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During the reign of the Emperor Decius, a man named Reprebus (or Reprobus) was captured in combat against tribes to the west of Egypt and was assigned to the numerus Marmaritarum or "Unit of the Marmaritae", which suggests an otherwise unidentified "Marmaritae" Berber tribe of Cyrenaica.  He was of enormous size and terrifying demeanor, being a cannibal with, like all the Marmaritae, cynocephaly (the head of a dog instead of a man). 

Ahhh, there's the problem, the Roman Catholic Church forgot about ole saint Chris being a cannibal.  That explains it.

Traditional Orthodox iconography depicts him as literally dog-headed. 

See, I knew there was a logical answer.  The Roman Catholic Church also forgot to tell us that ole saint Chris literally had the head of a dog.

Regardless, Reprebus accepted baptism and began to preach the faith.
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Eventually, the governor of Antioch (a very major city)  (or in some versions, the Emperor himself) decreed that Reprebus was to be executed for his faith.  He miraculously survived many attempts at execution, eventually permitting himself to be martyred after converting multitudes.  His body was then taken back to Alexandria by Peter of Attalia.

Aww, I thought they said some local king did it.  Poor ole Chris can't even get killed right....

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In the West, Saint Christopher was removed from the Universal Calendar of Saints based on a lack of specific historical evidence regarding the details of his life.  Contrary to popular belief, he was not "de-canonized" or declared not to be a saint.  He is still considered to be a saint in the Catholic Church.

Of course, after using Ole Chris to bilk BILLIONS of dollars out of people, the Catholic Church finally admitted ole Chris probably never existed in the first place.  Notice though, that they still want people to worship him.  They also continue to sell millions of dollars worth of their bogus saint Christopher junk.

While surviving Eastern accounts of his life are replete with miracles and events that do not mesh well with modern historiography, enough information has been preserved to present a possible account of a St. Christopher that would be amenable to modern historical sensibilities.

In other words they think they can still lie about him well enough to con at least "some" people out of their hard earned money, by coercing them into buying statues, trinkets, medals, relics, cards, and maybe even his dog teeth.

The first hurdle to consider is the idea that he was a dog-headed cannibal.  This can be understood in the light that the surviving accounts of St. Christopher are contemporaneous.  The practice of the time was to describe all people outside the "civilized" (Greco-Roman-Persian) world as cannibals, dog-headed, or even more bizarre things, albeit often metaphorically.  A later generation could then mistake a metaphor or hyperbole for a literal statement.

I think "contemporaneous" is a slippery word they think they can use in place of the TRUE FACT that they MADE OLE SAINT CHRIS UP out of thin air, just so they could con people out of BILLIONS of dollars!

However, the man in question is also said to have been assigned to a military unit made up of Marmaritae.  The Marmaritae were the independent tribes of Marmarica (now in modern Libya), who would have been pushed to the frontier region after Roman settlement. Since he was from a frontier tribe, describing him as being from the land of dog-headed people would have been a literary convention of the day.
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The various miracles attributed to him in the Eastern stories could be explained as ordinary embroidering typical of hagiography, especially regarding saints of the early centuries of Christianity.  (IN OTHER WORDS THEY JUST MADE HIM UP - OUT OF THIN AIR !! )
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Finally, we have the statements that he was killed in Antioch in the 4th year of the Emperor Decius, and his body taken elsewhere by a bishop.  Well, as established history bears out, ole St. Christopher could not have been killed in the fourth year of the Emperor Decius, as Decius only reigned for two years.  (LOL)
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However, before ascending to the throne of the Eastern Roman Empire, Maximinus was known as "Daza" before rising to power.  Unfortunately, there is no record of a visit to Antioch by Maximinus in the fourth year of his reign (308).  It is, of course, possible that St. Christopher was executed in Antioch during this year by the order of a lower authority; a personal trial before one of the Caesars could be a later embellishment.

MM HMM!  AS COULD THE ENTIRE FAIRY TALE OF OLE DOG-HEAD CHRIS BE AN EMBELLISHMENT - BY THE CATHOLIC CHURCH,  SO THEY COULD THEN CON PEOPLE OUT OF THE BILLIONS OF DOLLARS,  JUST AS THEY HAVE DONE!

Unfortunately, none of this information permits identification of the actual man.  Christopher is simply Greek for "Christ-bearer", and it refers, in the Eastern tradition, to St. Christopher's willingness to "take up the cross" -- a common metaphor for converting to Christianity.  Reprebus or Reprobus simply means "wicked person", so saying that Reprobus became Christopher amounts to saying "A wicked person became a Christian."  Furthermore, no place claims to be the burial site of St. Christopher, very unusual for a martyr.

YEP, BUT THEN AGAIN IT'S SLIGHTLY DIFFICULT TO DOCUMENT THE DEATH OF SOME MAKE BELIEVE "FIGURE" THAT NEVER EXISTED TO BEGIN WITH.

It has been speculated that St. Christopher could be the same man known as Saint Menas among the Copts, for whom a 4th century burial site is known but has no verifiable details about his life or martyrdom attached to him.  However, there is no conclusive link.
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Saint Christopher is one of the fourteen holy helpers.  He holds patronage of things related to travel and travellers:  people who carry things; against lightning;  against pestilence;  archers;  automobile drivers;  automobilists;  bachelors;  boatmen;  bookbinders;  bus drivers;  taxi drivers;  epilepsy;. epileptics;. floods; fruit dealers;  fullers; gardeners; hailstorms;  holy death;  lorry drivers;  mariners;  transportation;  market carriers; motorists;  porters;  sailors;  sudden death;  transportation workers; storms; toothaches;  travellers;  and all watermen.

Ole Dog Head Chris sure has a lot of varied mystical powers..
Wonder if he does windows.

These are some of the places "claiming" that Ole saint Christopher lived there.  Baden, Germany;  Brunswick, Germany;  Mecklenburg, Germany;  Rab, Croatia;  Catalonia, Spain;  Toses, Girona;  and Saint Christopher's Island (Saint Kitts), which is over a thousand miles across the Atlantic Ocean from any the above.
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Must have been ole chris' extra long legs?
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